Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
