Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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