Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
