I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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