When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
