I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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