so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am naked and annoyed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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