plz talk dirty to me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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