i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
