if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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