so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
