why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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