How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
