i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
