By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
