kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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