I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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