he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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