sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
