why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
