non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
