it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
