He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
