You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
