Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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