I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
