im six kinds of drunk right now
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
