Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
