I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
