It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
