He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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