If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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