Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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