I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
