Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sext me about skeletons
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
