didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
