whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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