Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My Sexting was not on an AP level
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
false alarm, still single
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