since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
