OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
