she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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