No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
