Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
