I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Boobs are out for the taking
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
