...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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