My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
