And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ladies don't puke and tell
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
