im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
