Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize