hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
