ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
