There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
